MIKETZ: POWERLESSNESS TO EMPOWERED

Laura Lee

Whew! Time is flying by like the speed of light! Seems like we were all, as a united people of Yah, reading In the Beginning...now we are reading Torah portion Miketz "At the end".

Weeks ago we were just reading about in the beginning Yah created...Adam and Eve...they fell for the sneaky snakes slithering lies, fell from grace, and viola! The shame/blame game began! (Shame. I call it the inner "ick". I know that inner ickiness all too well!)

This Torah portion is one of my favs. "Why?" you may ask...let me tell you why!

I relate to Joseph's life journey. A lot.

You see, shame is handed down. It's generational. Oh, you can know all sorts of stuff about stuff, but that doesn't destroy the inner ick...nope, and that inner ick can get triggered. That inner ick, when triggered, can look pretty ugly.

Rage. Addictions. Strife. Jealousy.

Sibling rivalry is a great example of this inner ick stuff, like a combustible material, it can manifest as a destructive force.

Crimes of passion are a result of this inner ick exploding into ugly stuff.

A great example is Joseph and his experience of sibling rivalry stemming from their father's favoritism.

Talk about powerlessness!

Joseph's brothers hated him; they were jealous due to that favoritism being played out by their father. How many of us have grown up with this dysfunctional dynamic? The hero child who cannot do any wrong. The enabler covering for the addict/abuser. Parents doting on the hero child, creating jealousy, resentment, bitterness, along with shame, pain, and anguished souls.

Sunday nights were bowling nights for my parents. Sunday nights was the night of terror for me. Every Sunday night, my brothers ganged up on me and beat me, taking turns encouraging one another, shaming me by name-calling, and blaming me for whatever trouble they got into with my father the week prior.

There is much more to my family of origin story, but suffice to say I learned powerlessness. I was and am powerless over others' behaviors, emotions, and mindsets.

Due to my family of origin dysfunction, and learned powerlessness, as a result, I have suffered from severe trauma, I suffered one abusive relationship after another. This was my only frame of reference..from a young age I used alcohol, drugs, food, and sex to numb the deeply seeded shame and self-hatred that haunted my soul.

At the end of my twenties, the Ruach began to woo me, calling me out of the dark pit I was living in. Snake pits full of snakes. I began crying out to Him, and He answered my cries for help, eventually delivering me from active addiction, then led me to college to obtain a degree and credentials as a Chemical Dependency Counselor. This led me to seek out therapy for myself. It took time for me to realize head knowledge did not equal recovery.

Yah had put me on the path of understanding generational toxic shame and trauma. Gaining this knowledge was not only powerful, but it was empowering. Empowering me to help others to find answers to their own destructive paths of addictions and patterns of domestic abuse. Both as a victim and victimizer.

Through the years, I kept falling into snake pits. The deeper work of deliverance had not yet taken place. I gained much head knowledge but had not yet found my true identity.

As Yah led me to His Torah, I began to see a deeper truth...

Like Joseph, I, too, can say "What was meant for evil, He meant for good!"

Like Joseph, what the evil one meant for your demise, to keep you locked into a stronghold of powerlessness, Yah can and will use it to empower even you, beloved, in these last days to be a light in the darkness...to be the overcomer He has called you to be!

So, the bottom line brothers and sisters...

In the beginning, it may have been a rough start, but with Yah, in the end it will be much different!

He that began a GOOD work in you, He WILL be faithful to complete it til the day of Messiah's return!