VAYECHI AND HE LIVED

 Blessings and Cursings

In this week's Torah Portion, Jacob speaks both blessings and curses over his sons before his death. Some of what is spoken is shocking, stirring up ponderings such as the relationship between Jacob and his sons. Was there an undercurrent of seething anger and resentment? Did he suspect they may have had a role in Joseph's demise?  Then we read the famous words of Joseph...

I was shocked the day my earthly father slapped my tender teenage face, drawing both blood and bitterness. His powerful, angry voice sank into my young, impressionable soul. "You are just like my mother". The words he spoke over me that day were a prophetic curse.

 I, indeed, became just like his mother. An angry alcoholic, involved with one abusive man after another, never finding true love.  

My mother's many years of tearful prayers were heard by my Heavenly Father. He rescued me from that curse. On my earthly father's deathbed, Heavenly Father poured forth His Ruach through me; sweet words of blessing poured forth over my father as he went the way of his father's before him.

 Fathers have a crucial role in the lives of their young, impressionable children. The words spoken can establish a healthy self-image, or cruel, hasty words can devastate a little heart, planting a seed of self-doubt and self-hatred. These bad seeds can be the bedrock of various addictions to either illegal or legal substances. (Please consider other methods of silencing those curse words. Addiction comes in many various forms.)

The good news is this~

Perhaps some of you have shared my experience of hearing the Aaronic Blessing. Rico Cortes has a recording on YouTube. I  listened to this blessing every morning for weeks.  Sobbing, I rewound the recorded blessing repeatedly; the Ruach ministered to that little girl within me who never received her father's blessing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN8K96twMQo

I also attended a week-long Be in Health seminar in Thomaston, Georgia. There was a significant deliverance/healing activity attendees were led through, you guessed it! A Father's Blessing. The leader stated that one of the most significant wounds in a child's core is not receiving their father's blessing. During the healing activity, men volunteered as our fathers' stand-ins. Oh, the weeping and howling from the deepest parts of the women, releasing the deep pain pent up in the souls of these precious daughters. The lack of their daddy's love created a father wound. 

Core wounds. Soul wounds...

      The men responded just as deeply emotionally..not a dry eye with the brothers.

The very wounding the enemy has caused through a father's lack of loving care has held so many hostages for generations!

Hostage to bitterness, resentment, anguish, low self-esteem, self-hatred, shame, and blame numbed in a thousand different ways. 

Prisons are filled with men and women who yearn to hear "I love you" from their fathers.  Juvenile detention centers are filled with youth who also yearn for love and acceptance.  Both youth and adult, acting out the pain of empty hearts and wounded souls... core wounds. Some behind physical bars, some behind emotional bars. 

I have had the privilege of serving in jails and prisons...I have had the honor of hearing sorrowful stories of abuses of all sorts and the human drive to survive, forcing way too many to step into the parent role to protect younger siblings and provide for their needs neglected by absent parents.

The Adverse Childhood Experiences show us through solid research that core wounding has a lifelong impact, leading to all sorts of addictions and dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Even ill-health is connected to early childhood neglect. 

The Creator designed each of us to be loved and accepted and to belong somewhere safe, surrounded by people who love and appreciate us. The foundation is our families; our fathers and mothers are the primary providers for these needs to be met. When these needs are unmet, we seek ways to meet those needs. 

 The good news is that it can be healed! (Please see the resources below. If you are interested in learning more, reach out to me, and I will help you in any way I can.)

This week, I want to share a poem that depicts the impact of a "father wound."  I hope it blesses you. 

My Father’s Daughter

My father

A child in a grown man's body
selfish, self-absorbed, fearful, hypervigilant
arrested development rendering him immature
stuck in another time, another era
that of a child, rejected, abandoned by 
his own parents...alone, in a house of death
as he calls it...
built by his grandpa's own hands...
a place I called home...
till I fled as a teen...pregnant
fearful, self absorbed, 
filled with the same stuff...
that of arrested development...
stunted maturity...

addicted, afflicted by the same haunting
sins...of our fathers handed down...
alcoholism, shame, rage, pain...
addicted to food, to anything
to numb, to hide, to die...
a slow death 

Yes, you are your father's daughter...
I hear Father say...
but...I want you to be 
My daughter...
filled with My characteristics
Let Me give you a new heart
with a right Spirit
Let Me empty you of all the dross
and fill you with My love

Exodus 34:6
Berean Study Bible
Then the LORD passed in front of Moses and called out: “The LORD, the LORD God, is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in loving devotion and faithfulness,

Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Sins-Of-The-Fathers

JPS Tanakh 1917
The LORD is full of compassion and gracious, Slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.

Nehemiah 9:17
They refused to listen and failed to remember the wonders You performed among them. They stiffened their necks and appointed a leader to return them to their bondage in Egypt. But You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in loving devotion, and You did not forsake them.

Here are some resources that may help you on your journey to the heart of our Father. Shalom til next time!

PS  I would love to hear from you!

amoderndaysamaritanwoman@gmail..com

https://woundstoscars.com/

https://surehopecounseling.com/the-father-wound-understanding-problems-in-the-child-father-relationship/

Jack Frost Experiencing The Father's Love Part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFByVMXxWMg&t=35s

Jack Frost Experiencing The Father's Love Part 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txdxv3Syw-c

Andrea Sims Ph.D. A Morning Page: Unfolding This Treasure

Art by Andrea

A Morning Page: Unfolding This Treasure

My Happy Place

The beach is my happy place. I feel something as I walk barefooted in the sand, listening to the roar of the waves crashing. I think it is the enormity of the ocean and the sky coming together. Just thinking about it now and reliving the healthy fear I have of the fierceness and forces of the power that’s on display, I get the “over the top of a rollercoaster” feeling in the pit of my stomach. For me, that awe brings with it something of Yah to my heart. 

And it brings to mind the only photo I have of my mother and me together. We were in Long Beach, CA where I was born, walking hand and in hand (I was a toddler at the time) and a photographer happened to capture the moment. I found the clipping of the newspaper article when going through my mother’s things after she died. 

Many things have happened to me while walking on the beach. I can’t really explain why, but this is one of them. 

In 2000, I was living on Padre Island off the coast of Texas, near Corpus Christi. One day, out of the blue while walking on the beach, I found myself wanting to paint—watercolor, in particular. I was surprised, because I had done nothing artistic like this . . . ever! So, I went to the local office supply store, bought a children’s box of paint, and picked up some typing paper to see what might happen. With those supplies, not much! I next went to the library searching for a beginning watercolor book of instruction and had a bit more success. At some point, I became intrigued with the terra cotta pot—trying to capture the light and shadow in the empty space. I must have painted that image thirty or forty times before I realized . . . I had been painting a self-portrait. It was quite a shock. 

“But we have this treasure

In earthen vessels,

That the excellency of the power

May be of Elohiym, and not of us . . .”

This Treasure

I’m a “whole to parts” kind of learner: I must see at least a glimpse of the big picture before I can begin to understand the parts. I am also aware of my own inadequacies to express the “whole” of what I am discussing here, but I must try. For in this case, the “whole” involves the cosmos (the worlds were made by Yah), eternity (time without a beginning or an end), and the enormity of salvation (the breath of life to begin life, abundance to endure life, and eternal life with the One who created all things). Now you see what I mean by “whole”! It’s almost beyond words.

So, it’s the “parts” that I can more easily explore: 

Treasure, in the Greek and Hebrew lexicons, hints at a deposit of wealth that is disposed of by will or testament; an inheritance, of sorts; a treasury in a storehouse. (G2344, G5087, H214). In light of the insight that this brings, we can look at what the Scriptures say and begin to see what this treasure is that we have:

“Now, therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed,

And guard my covenant,

Then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me

Above all people:

For all the earth is mine.”

(Exodus 19:5)

“And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability

Of your times,

And strength of yeshu’ah (salvation):

The fear of Yahuah is his treasure.”

(Isaiah 33:6)

 

“And if we belong to Mashiach (Messiah),

Then are ye Avraham’s seed,

And heirs according to the promise.”

 (Galatians 3:29)

“But as many as received him, 

To them gave he power to become the sons of Elohiym,

Even to them that believe on his name.”

(John 1:12)

From these Scriptures, we can see that this treasure we contain is not of our own making. We hold it inside of ourselves as a deposit of wealth, given by the only One who has it and has the power to disperse it as He wills. In other words, we become the storehouse of something magnificent from the Creator of all things. 

Photo by Andrea

But what is this “something”? 

Salvation

I realize that I have stated above that salvation is one of those “whole” things that is hard to talk about, but I can, through looking into the Greek and Hebrew, get another glimpse into some of the parts: We have within us help from on high, deliverance from the enemies of our souls, health, rescue—sometimes from ourselves, safety from all things injurious, and finally, victory over evil (H3444, G4991). If we only know in part, as the Scriptures tell us in 1 Corinthians 13:9, then we can only imagine what the whole of salvation must be. 

Power

The power found in 2 Corinthians 4:7 is described as excellent. From the Greek and Hebrew, we can get a better picture of it: it is mighty, great, full of strength and force and mastery; it speaks of authority, jurisdiction, liberty—even the miraculous (G1411, G1849, H1369, H7980). Again, none of these attributes of the “something” that we hold in us can be attributed to man. This power is from Yah alone. May others see this truth clearly. It is not of us. We need to revisit this Scripture:

“But as many as received him, 

To them gave he power to become the sons of Elohiym,

Even to them that believe on his name.”

(John 1:12)

The treasure we hold is the knowledge that we have become Yah’s offspring, his child. 

“And if we belong to Mashiach (Messiah),

Then are ye Avraham’s seed,

And heirs according to the promise.”

 (Galatians 3:29)

The treasure we hold is the inheritance Yah promised us: Life abundant, life eternal. 

“As you (Yah) have given him (Messiah) power over all flesh, 

that he (Messiah) should give eternal life 

to as many as you (Yah) have given him.”

John 17:2

The treasure we hold is a gift from the Father (Yah) to the Son (Messiah) which he (Messiah) then gifts to us who believe on his name. What a treasure! What a gift!

“But he (Yah) knows the way that I take:

And when he has tried me

I shall come forth as gold.”

(Job 23:10)

The treasure we hold is the confidence that Yah knows the outcome of our many trials and troubles, and that the victory over evil and over the fleshly desires is won. 

“For Elohiym created man to be immortal 

and made him to be an image

Of his own eternity.”

(Wisdom of Solomon 2:23)

The treasure we hold is the knowledge that, not only are Yah’s children immortal, but we are made in his image, which involves eternity. The excellency of the power for such things as this can only be of Yah. 

We can draw some conclusions from this glimpse into the parts of the treasure we are unfolding. 

We cannot save ourselves or anyone else. 

Yah is the only One who makes the blind eyes to see, the deaf ears to hear, and the heart to change from stone to flesh. 

We are earthen vessels that contain a treasure. And at this point, we only know in part, we look through a glass darkly, and we know nothing yet as we ought. 

Oh, but there is coming a day . . . when we will know as we are known. And until then, faith, hope, and love abide within us . . . what a treasure we contain!

Please leave me a note: I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Photo by Andrea

 

 

Photo by Leigh (Bell Buckle TN)

Ancient Path of Obedience: Shabbath does a body good (and your mind)! 

Leigh Caruthers

I have always been a hard worker. I come from a long line of those who worked the land. I've had many times in my life where I worked more than 1 job to get by. Although It was not always about making money and paying bills for me. It was about keeping my mind occupied and busy. As long as I was working, studying, and focusing my mind on anything else, I could shut out my past. I struggled with anxiety, panic attacks, worry, and fear. When I had any amount of downtime, that was an opportunity for the adversary to play one of his prepared reels in my mind that consisted of a list of my failures, embarrassing moments, or reminders of my sins. I filled my time with as many activities as possible. I lived life in a constant state of fight or flight. 

What is fight or flight? The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee. In other words, it's exhausting!! I was always 2 steps away from a breakdown. I could not manage my emotions, and most days I was a walking powder keg just waiting on a spark to set me off to fight or immediately to flee! Neither of those would ever bring a resolution to that constant state of anarchy within my mind. Who was driving this runaway train anyway? Well, it was me trying to avoid myself and the mess I had made trying to manage everything on my own. 

I worked as a Nurse for 20 + years, the last 11 years in Home Health. I was working even when I was technically off work either with paperwork or mandatory on-call. During my last 3 months of Home Health, I was on call 24/7 due to no other Nurse on staff. I drove thousands of miles over those years, and my body finally had enough of all the wear and tear. I was pouring myself out to others in every way possible. I was broken in my mind, body, and spirit. My husband and I went to church on Sundays. I prayed that I would be restored and refilled, yet I would walk away every week empty and then immediately go home and work on my chores there. I cried out to Yahuah asking, "Where are you? How do I find you? How can I get closer to you?" This is where our narrow path walk began. 

Photo by Leigh (North Carolina Beach)

Mat 11:28  Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Mat 11:29  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls.

Mat 11:30  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I read these scriptures in Matthew over and over as we stepped out onto the narrow path. The very first step for us was asking ourselves if we should be keeping Shabbath. Is it for all of Yahuah's children? Where is it first mentioned in our scripture? 

Gen 2:2  And on the seventh day Elohiym ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

Gen 2:3  And Elohiym blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which Elohiym created and made.

Did Yahuah need to rest? 

Isa 40:28  Did you not know? Have you not heard? The everlasting Elohim, יהוה, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable.

Yahuah never faints nor is weary, so why did he rest on the seventh day? He was setting an example for his children. As parents, we should lead by example, and this is exactly what our heavenly Father is doing. He made us. He knows that we need a break from the stresses of the world.  

We know that the body's "fight or flight" response sends out hormones called catecholamines to speed up heart rate and blood pressure. The opposite action of relaxation lets your body know it’s OK to save energy. Your parasympathetic system takes over and releases a hormone called acetylcholine. That slows your heart rate down. Your muscles relax, digestion slows down, you hurt less, and your immune system works better. Your mind can rest, and you can decompress completely. 

He also wanted to sanctify a day that we would spend focused on him and not our work, worries, or stresses, and he wanted every single person to be able to have this opportunity which is why we don't work nor do we make other people work. What about emergencies? 

Mat 12:11  And he said unto them, What man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on the Shabbath, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out?

Mat 12:12  How much then is a man better than a sheep? Wherefore it is Lawful to do well on the Shabbaths.

What is the significance of Shabbath? Does it really matter to Yahuah if we keep Shabbath? Shabbath appears in 115 verses in scripture, with 140 total matches. I am adding just a few below to give us a better understanding. 

Exo 20:8  Remember the day of the Shabbath, to keep it holy.

Exo 20:9  Six days shall you labor, and do all your work:

Exo 20:10  But the seventh day is the Shabbath of Yahuah Elohayka: in it, you shall not do any work, you, nor your son, nor your daughter, your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger that is within your gates:

Exo 20:11  For in six days Yahuah made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore Yahuah blessed the day of Shabbath, and hallowed it.

Isa 58:13  If you turn away your foot from the Shabbath, from doing your pleasure on my holy day; and call the Shabbath a delight, the holy of Yahuah, honorable; and shall honor him, not doing your own ways, nor finding your own pleasure, nor speaking your own words:

Isa 58:14  Then shall you delight yourself in Yahuah; and I will cause you to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed you with the heritage of Ya`aqov your father: for the mouth of Yahuah has spoken it.

Ezk 20:20  And hallow my Shabbaths; and they shall be a sign between me and you, that ye may know that I am Yahuah Elohaykem.

"...shall be a sign between me and you..." looking at the word sign in Hebrew we find it in  H226   (Brown-Driver-Briggs); אות; 'ôth; BDB Definition:

1) sign, signal

1a) a distinguishing mark

So many are focused on the mark of the beast and how to avoid it. My question is do we know what the mark of Yahuah is? Here we clearly see that the word "sign" in Hebrew actually means "a distinguishing mark." It's important to research your scripture so you can discern the complete context. Where do we read about such a sign or mark of Yahuah?

Rev 9:4  And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of Elohiym in their foreheads.

We find the word "Seal" in Greek: G4973   (Strong); σφραγίς; sphragis; sfrag-ece'; Probably strengthened from G5420; a signet (as fencing in or protecting from misappropriation); by implication the stamp impressed (as a mark of privacy, or genuineness), literally or figuratively: - seal.

So we can deduce that mark and seal are ultimately the same. I don't know about you but I pray for the seal of Yahuah to be in my forehead. I want to be counted worthy to enter my Father's house. I long to hear the words, "Well done good and faithful servant."

Photo by Leigh (Leo)

Photo by Leigh (Xena)

So after we decided that Shabbath WAS for us to keep, we took our first awkward steps onto the narrow path. It was difficult at first. It never fails that when you make a commitment to Yahuah in one way or another you will be proven whether you actually meant it or not. It's almost as if Father is saying to you, "prove it!" So many things will come against you. So many events are always scheduled on Shabbath. 

Which day is Shabbath? We follow the 7th day of Shabbath as written in Genesis. At the bottom of this blog, I will include a link to our YouTube discussion on Shabbath. I am including a screenshot we provided in our discussion. The countries in green still call the "Saturday" Sabbath. 

https://www.youtube.com/live/STxXs4fgiLs?si=A7pDXeq1OIB8MEcw

Shabbath has been a blessing in our lives in so many ways. I have that relationship with Yahuah and Yahusha I was crying out for. My anxiety, panic, and avoidance of letting my mind rest have been replaced with rejoicing and praise for Yahuah! I have the rest needed for my mind, body, and spirit that I was dying for. I have the Shalom of Yahuah and a day that finally refills and refreshes me so that I can endure until the final Shabbath of eternity. HalleluYah! Leave me a comment below to let me know your thoughts on Shabbath or if you have questions concerning Shabbath! As always I pray for blessings for you and over your house! 

Photo by Leigh (Muffin)

VAYIGASH

Says Yair Caspir in an article published in HAARETZ, which focuses on this week's Torah portion:

"Joseph bears a severe trauma from his childhood. His brothers tried to kill him, his father did not protect him, and the brother who "showed compassion" for him sold him into slavery. His family had forgotten him.

Trauma...Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  

https://traumapractice.co.uk/what-is-the-difference-between-ptsd-complex-ptsd/

PTSD	Complex-PTSD
Sense of threat	Interpersonal disturbance
Persistent avoidance of thoughts, feelings, people & places	Negative self-concept
Re-experiencing	Affect dysregulation
Hyper-arousal	Sense of threat
	Avoidance
	Re-experiencing

Another great resource is the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) studies, which show that neglect in various forms can severely impact brain development, impacting emotions and behaviors. This family, indeed, has had the effects of neglect...

I've often wondered what it would have been like to grow up with one father, multiple wives, and half-siblings, all vying for attention and recognition...

What would the emotional climate have been like? Last week, we touched on generational trauma and shame being passed through via epigenetics. Left unaddressed, we unintentionally pass these conditions on to our offspring. 

The betrayal and deceitfulness of Laban greatly impacted Jacob, leading to his marrying two sisters, one being barren, the other fertile, creating jealousy and rivalry. Add two more women who were powerless over their living situations, add children from all of these women, topped off by the favorite wife, finally giving birth to two sons. Wow, what a dysfunctional mess!

Betrayal, jealousy, favoritism, sibling rivalry, resentment, bitterness, lust, hatred, and more! All create a wounded heart. 

What a setup for continued generational trauma! As we explore the continued journey of the 12 tribes of Isreal, we will dig deeper into the topic of trauma along with resources for healing and overcoming!)

According to Blue Letter Bible, the word trauma is as follows:

From the base of titrosko (to wound; akin to the base of θραύω (G2352), τρίβος (G5147), τρίζω (G5149), etc.)

Thayer's Greek Lexicon:   ͂trauma

1) a wound

Part of Speech: noun neuter

Relation: from the base of titrosko (to wound; akin to the base of G2352, G5147, G5149, etc.)

Did you catch that? Wound

(As we explore the continued journey of the 12 tribes of Isreal, we will dig deeper into the topic of trauma along with resources for healing and overcoming!)

We have been reading the weekly Torah portions, with baited breath at times, about Joseph's next move toward his vulnerable brothers.

Joseph tested them to see into their hearts. He wanted to see if they had repented, truly repented. 

When Joseph saw that they had indeed had a change of heart, all those years of grief burst like an emotional dam...

After years of stuffed resentment, regret, and deep remorse came reunification and rededication to one another.

They truly did live happily ever after in the land of Goshen!

I would like to highlight some important steps Joseph took before trusting his brothers and revealing his identity.

In Genesis chapters 42-43, we read about the various ways he tested his brothers. This was a very wise decision.

 As a domestic abuse survivor and a certified domestic abuse advocate, I cannot stress enough the importance of this critical step.

Lundy Bancroft is the author of "Why Does He Do That?". He is an expert in the field of domestic abuse. This book was recommended to me by a sister who understood what I was living with, along with the website and book called  A Cry for Justice by Pastor Jeff Crippen. These resources saved my life.

https://lundybancroft.com/articles/checklist-for-assessing-change-in-men-who-abuse-women/

• Admitting fully to what he has done
• Stopping excuses
• Stopping all blaming of her
• Making amends
• Accepting responsibility (recognizing that abuse is a choice)
• Identifying patterns of controlling behavior, admitting their wrongness
• Identifying the attitudes that drive his abuse
• Accepting that overcoming abusiveness will be a decades-long process, not declaring himself cured
• Not starting to say, “so now it’s your turn to do your work”, not using change as a bargaining chip
• Not demanding credit for improvements he has made
• Not treating improvements as chips or vouchers to be spent on occasional acts of abuse (e.g. “I haven’t done anything like this in a long time, so why are you making such a big deal about it?”)
• Developing respectful, kind, supportive behaviors
• Carrying his weight
• Sharing power
• Changing how he is in highly heated conflicts
• Changing how he responds to his partner’s (or former partner’s) anger and grievances
• Changing his parenting
• Changing his treatment of her as a parent
• Changing his attitudes towards females in general
• Accepting the consequences of his actions (including not feeling sorry for himself about those consequences, and not blaming her or the children for them)

Repentance is a biblical term that describes the deep sorrow of recognizing our sin and wanting to turn away from it towards God. It involves a confession of wrongdoing - naming sin and recognizing responsibility for it. It also involves grief at our wrong behaviour, recognising the limits of our ability to make amends, and acknowledging its impact on our relationships with God and others. In addition to this, it involves a change of heart – deciding that the future will involve new plans, new ways of behaving, and acting on this. Repentance that does not lead to behaviour change is not repentance at all. “Godly sorrow” always produces a genuine concern to ensure that justice happens (2 Corinthians 7:10-11).

The article also states: Because repentance is a gift from God (Acts 11:18), it is also possible for perpetrators of domestic and family violence to repent. The Holy Spirit can convict them of their abusive attitudes and behaviors, and help them change. However, for repentance to be genuine it must involve honest confession, genuine attempts at restitution, willingness to being held accountable by church leaders, and sustained changes to their attitudes and behaviours.

Take from the website Safe Resource.

I pray, beloved, that this has blessed you. It is not an easy topic to delve into, but the body of Messiah must be healed and equipped to help others out of the snake pits of abuse, addiction, and traumas. As we continue to study the Torah, more insights and resources will be provided according to the will of the Most High. 

Until next week, shalom!

Resources and articles

https://www.saferresource.org.au/the_bible_on_domestic_family_violence

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/risk-assessment-tools

http://www.abigails.org/a-studypage.htm

https://scholars.wlu.ca/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2429&context=consensus

MIKETZ: POWERLESSNESS TO EMPOWERED

MIKETZ: POWERLESSNESS TO EMPOWERED

Laura Lee

Whew! Time is flying by like the speed of light! Seems like we were all, as a united people of Yah, reading In the Beginning...now we are reading Torah portion Miketz "At the end". 

Weeks ago we were just reading about in the beginning Yah created...Adam and Eve...they fell for the sneaky snakes slithering lies, fell from grace, and viola! The shame/blame game began! (Shame. I call it the inner "ick". I know that inner ickiness all too well!)

This Torah portion is one of my favs. "Why?" you may ask...let me tell you why!

I relate to Joseph's life journey. A lot. 

You see, shame is handed down. It's generational. Oh, you can know all sorts of stuff about stuff, but that doesn't  destroy the inner ick...nope, and that inner ick can get triggered. That inner ick, when triggered, can look pretty ugly. 

Rage. Addictions. Strife. Jealousy.

Sibling rivalry is a great example of this inner ick stuff, like a combustible material, it can manifest as a destructive force. 

Crimes of passion are a result of this inner ick exploding into ugly stuff.

A great example is Joseph and his experience of sibling rivalry stemming from their father's favoritism.

Talk about powerlessness!

Joseph's brothers hated him; they were jealous due to that  favoritism being played out by their father. How many of us have grown up with this dysfunctional dynamic? The hero child who cannot do any wrong. The enabler covering for the addict/abuser. Parents doting  on the hero child, creating jealousy, resentment, bitterness, along with shame, pain, and anguished souls.

Sunday nights were bowling nights for my parents. Sunday nights was the  night of terror for me. Every Sunday night, my brothers ganged up on me and beat me, taking turns encouraging one another, shaming me by name-calling, and blaming me for whatever trouble they got into with my father the week prior.

There is much more to my family of origin story, but suffice to say I learned powerlessness. I was and am powerless over others' behaviors, emotions, and mindsets. 

Due to my family of origin dysfunction, and learned powerlessness, as a result, I have suffered from severe trauma, I suffered one abusive relationship after another. This was my  only frame of reference..from a young age I  used alcohol, drugs, food, and sex to numb the deeply seeded shame and self-hatred that haunted my soul.

At the end of my twenties, the Ruach began to woo me, calling me out of the dark pit I was living in. Snake pits full of snakes. I began crying out to Him, and He answered my cries for help, eventually delivering  me from active addiction, then led me to college to obtain a degree and credentials as a  Chemical Dependency Counselor. This  led me to seek out therapy for myself. It took time for me to realize head knowledge did not equal recovery. 

 Yah had put me on the path of understanding generational toxic shame and trauma. Gaining this knowledge was not only powerful, but it was  empowering. Empowering me to help others to find answers to their own destructive paths of addictions and patterns of  domestic abuse. Both as a victim and victimizer. 

Through the years, I kept falling into snake pits. The deeper work of deliverance had not yet taken place. I gained much head knowledge but had not yet found my true identity. 

As Yah  led me to His Torah, I began to see a deeper truth...

Like Joseph, I, too, can say "What was meant for evil, He meant for good!"

Like Joseph, what the evil one meant for your demise, to keep you locked into a stronghold of powerlessness, Yah can and will use it to empower even you, beloved,  in these last days to be a light in the darkness...to be the overcomer He has called you to be!

So, the bottom line brothers and sisters...

In the beginning, it may  have been a rough start, but with Yah, in the  end it will be much different!

He that began a GOOD work in you, He WILL be faithful to complete it til the day of Messiah's return!

Andrea Sims Ph.D. : A Morning Page: Unfolding Ya’da

 

A Morning Page: Unfolding Ya’da 

(Hebrew for “to know”)

Andrea L. Sims Ph.D.

You might recall from my first blog that “unfold” means to reveal, disclose, or to open up. For me, during this season of my life, I’m being asked to open up and share more of myself than I have, perhaps, in the past. And then there is the “morning page” thing. I wrote a bit about that in the second blog: it’s my way of thinking through and exploring words or thoughts or ideas that won’t leave me alone. So, what you have in my blogs is my personal journey of exploration as it comes to me over time. Oh, if you could just see my desk at this moment! It’s covered with notes of this and that for this particular unfolding. I hope you can stay with me as I attempt to gather my “ocean clutter” of tidbits on this idea of “to know” that have been floating around in my mind since mid-June (6/14/23 to be exact). 

Here we go: Ya’da!

Ya’da (yaw-daw) is Strong’s H3045 and occurs at least 947 times in the KJV. It means to know, known, knowledge, perceive, tell, understand, consider, declare. Further, to learn to know, to perceive, discern, discriminate, distinguish, to know by experience, to recognize, to be wise.

At first glance, you may not see the connection between “ya’da” and Jeremiah 15:16, but, trust me, there is one. 

“Your words were found

and I did eat them;

and your Word was unto me

the joy and rejoicing

of my heart:

for I am called by your name,

O Yahuah Elohai Tseva’oth.”

“Your words”: Notice, not just any words are stated here. The Prophet Jeremiah is narrowing down his subject to just Yah’s words. Man has written and spoken many things about Yah’s words, but does anything really take the place of Yah’s? I think not. Jeremiah is being very specific here. 

“. . . were found”: Notice, too, that Yah’s words were found. Is the implication here that Jeremiah had been searching for them? I guess we can stumble upon things and “find them” but I don’t believe that is the case here. “Seek and ye shall find” comes to mind. Purposeful, intentional, even needful can be implied, too.  

“. . . and I did eat them”: Okay. Here we are getting to the connection. In Hebrew, the word for eat is akala. It’s Strong’s number 398 and literally or figuratively means to consume or devour. Brown-Driver-Briggs adds another level of meaning: “to eagerly receive”.

I was flooded with questions at this point as I attempted to begin connecting the idea of “eating” and “knowing”, but I will spare you the “ocean clutter”—that tangled mess of thoughts, ideas, quotes, etc.—that plagues me at times. I finally came to what was brewing: By using the word “eat” to take in Yah’s words, Jeremiah provides us with a metaphor: Metabolism. Here’s the definition of what happens in the natural:

Metabolism refers to the whole sum of reactions that occur throughout the body within each cell and that provide the body with energy. This energy gets used for vital processes and the synthesis of new organic material. (digest, soak in, consume take in, assimilate).

I have heard, and believe, that what is first is natural and then spiritual. As I went to bed, I began to think about the process of eating in spiritual terms. I have said many times (quoting 1st Corinthians 13:9-12) that I only know in part, that I look through a glass darkly, and that I know nothing yet as I ought. But I woke up this morning feeling like I’m peeking into a mystery. 

What’s involved in the preparation of a meal? We know from experience that it takes time for what we eat to be turned into the energy that we need to be alive. There’s a process involved—a whole series of reactions that leads to transformation. I had to ask myself some serious questions at this point? You might have your own, though.

Is there a corresponding preparation of the heart? Can we compare the process of metabolism to the process that might be occurring as we read or hear Yah’s words that transforms our very lives? How do the words (heard or read) turn into the “knowing” that shows up as joy (an inward experience) and rejoicing (an outward expression of that inward joy)?

Is my time in Yah’s word intentional? Purposeful? Am I seeking information? Did I clear my own thoughts that I might hear Yah’s? Am I able to “taste and see that Yah is good”? Am I hungry for what Yah has for me in his word? Do I receive it eagerly? Do I realize that his word is “alive and active”? Am I stopped in my tracks at times to just soak in his word? 

Or do I “eat and run”—onto the next thing on my to-do list? Do I gobble up a chapter or two without “chewing” on it? Do I just grab what’s handy – open it randomly and read the same way? Or do I eat someone else’s portion posted on-line?

I’m beginning to see that Yah has a design for natural metabolism as well as spiritual metabolism. He would have us commune with our own hearts upon our bed and be still; to meditate on what he shows us; to write them upon our heart (memorizing them); to take notes and post where we can read and reread (repetition is a learning tool). He admonishes us to “remember” and to “forget not” over and over. 

It takes times to metabolize the food we eat. And it takes time for Yah’s word to become the spiritual knowing that leads to belief and trust and that joy that Jeremiah talks about. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Leave me a comment!